There are just some things you never say to a pregnant woman.
For those of you who know, my daughter Quincy was born at 32 weeks and 3 days. So every day I make it past that milestone in THIS pregnancy I breathe a sigh of relief. Which is why, when I saw a comment on my latest weekly belly shot:
“Dear god…when are you going to pop? It is time for this baby to be out!!”
I was a little irritated.
First of all, I’m not huge. Second, the photo in question was taken at 36 weeks. Technically, even though my scheduled cesarean is March 12, I still have 4 weeks to go (give or take). Even though my amazing ob team has assured me that 3.0 will be a take home baby and I am doing great, part of me is still concerned about a NICU baby. Why wouldn’t I be? Both of previous children were. SO for someone to say that I need to have 3.0 NOW? It’s rude and insensitive.
I asked some of my fellow bloggers and mama friends things that have been said to them when they were pregnant. Here’s what they had to say:
Things you never say to a pregnant woman.
Someone asked me if i was sure I wasnt have twins. Aka you’re huge lady.
It’s not polite to comment on someones size when they aren’t pregnant, therefore you should never comment on the size of a pregnant woman or when she may or may not pop. If you can’t tell someone they are fat when they aren’t pregnant then them being pregnant doesn’t change it
Was this a planned pregnancy?
Dang, you must love making love!
Wow, you look sooo ready!
You sure theres only one in there?
You’re still pregnant?!
Wow! You’re so big. Are you having twins?
Someone once asked me if I was dilated yet.
You must be having twins.
You’re going to use a family name, right?
Will you be mad if it’s a ____ (boy/girl)
Oh it’s a ____, now you can be done!
Are you overdue?
I think your waddle is so cute.
Are you DONE yet?
You know you’re crazy for having all those kids, right?
Your poor vagina!
Are they all your husbands? (who’s is it)
You’re going to [insert crunchy parenting decision] this time, right?
Are you SURE you’re going to eat all that?
should you be vacuuming in your condition?
Don’t you know how that happens?
Are you having a white/brown baby? No it’s yellow with pink and blue polka dots
Whose the daddy?
You’re tying your tubes after this one, right?
I had a friend tell me wow this pregnancy you are all baby, last time you kinda carried it all over….I was like so what are you saying I was a fat ass last time? (this is my favorite contribution so far)
“Are you going to keep ‘it’ if ‘it’ is like your son?” or “What will you do if ‘it’ is like your son?”(to a mother who has an older child with Autism)
It seems like overnight I went from “When are you going to start showing?” to “Wow! Only 23 weeks? I can’t imagine what you’ll look like in another 17! We’re going to have to roll you to the hospital.”
Yes, I suddenly popped and am carrying higher than last time. I am keenly aware of my size. I also grow large children.
I also get tired of hearing “How are you feeling?” No one wants the real answer. My back hurts. My abdomen hurts. I’m tired. I pee my pants about once a day when I get kicked in the bladder. The list goes on and on.
The ONLY thing you should EVER say to a pregnant woman? Tell her she looks great. That she’s beautiful.
Thank you to my beautiful mama friends of August 2010, Rave and Review, Simmworks Family Blog, Fabulous Finds by Tiffany and The Frugal Greenish Mama and My Silly Monkeys for your contributions to this post.