Over the past week or so, I've seen Facebook statuses pop up on my news feed. I'm sure you've seen them too.
They look like this:
Now, obviously, this person's friends and family think she's pregnant.
She's not.
Apparently some people got together and thought that posting cutesy messages on Facebook about being pregnant would help raise awareness for breast cancer.
I'm still trying to wrap my head around how.
Sure, it created awareness by default, because it created an uproar. People did talk about it.
But here's the thing, if you want to create awareness about breast cancer, how about a post like this:
Girl aged just THREE beats breast cancer after becoming the youngest ever victim of the disease
I think that's a little more effective at grabbing your attention, isn't it?
Posting fake pregnancy statuses isn't creating awareness, it's insulting.
It's insulting to women who have gone through chemotherapy for cancer and who can't have children.
It's insulting to women who struggle with infertility.
It's insulting to men, who by the way, can get breast cancer too.
If anything, posting a fake pregnancy status is a great way to get your news feed hidden by your friend(s) that have suffered a miscarriage (which is 10-25% of all pregnancies statistically, however to your friend, it may feel like 99%). How about creating awareness about Infant Loss? Thanks for pouring salt in their wounds.
I'm not alone in feeling this way, here's another blogger's take on this whole "fake pregnancy status" thing.
You want to create breast cancer awareness? I challenge you to find a different way.
Please don't send me messages to participate in Facebook "games" like these. It's not cute, it's not something to keep "the men" in the dark so they wonder and it doesn't create awareness.
Note: This was originally published in September 2011, but one of these games hit my feed again this week, so....
Gail Gray
The sad thing is, people who participate in these games may actually believe they are helping raise awareness of breast cancer. The mainstream media covered those games -- particularly the first one -- NOT from the perspective of how it created or raised breast cancer awareness, but from the perspective of how silly it was, and how it trivialized a devastating condition. It was a 10-minute "phenomenon" because of its very ineffectiveness in doing what it purported to do. Some called it an outright hoax.
How is posting a coy, frivolous post about bra size going to help find a cure? How is posting fake-pregnancy notes going to contribute in any meaningful way? How are such posts even going to raise awareness of this dire disease? The only thing it can do -- and did -- is make Facebook users look a little foolish. (And as someone who likes Facebook very much, that distressed me. As a community, we can be better than that!)
I'm with you here. Let's do other, meaningful things towards dealing with this devastating disease: donate money; give time to a recognized charitable organization; support a friend or family member going through chemo or radiation therapy; volunteer even just a few hours at a hospital; participate in a breast cancer bazaar or other fundraiser; donate to a thrift shop that supports the American Cancer Society; pass out leaflets... the options are endless and far FAR more valuable than a Facebook post.
Genevieve
I would be so honored if you would join this event and pass it on as well. Even help promote it! Everything that you have typed about the facebook games is what I have been saying from the start! I am a 2 time cancer survivor and it is very insulting! I know some one that has been diagnosed with breast cancer (and other illnesses as well) And I crave a CURE!
Please Join in ACUTALLY raising awareness!
https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=242745045769149
Shana Putnam
I agree. I have PCOS and we suffered for 12 years of trying before we finally were blessed with our son Blaze. We have also been trying in the four years since him and nothing. This hurt me so bad to see all these statuses. People have no clue when they haven't been through it but it is pretty much common sense to me. This is what I put on Facebook and I got lots of agreements and even one apology from someone who posted the game.
~*~No, I will not post how many “weeks I am” or “what I am craving” in some misguided attempt to raise awareness for breast cancer. Pretending you are pregnant isn’t funny or cute (nor does it raise awareness)–certainly not to your friend who just suffered a miscarriage or is living with infertility. And with 25% of all pregnancies ending in miscarriage and infertility affecting 1 in 6 couples, I can assure you, someone on your Friends list has or is experiencing one of these things.~*~
Danielle
I absolutely, obviously, agree. Great post! 🙂
Emillie
I agree that it is out of line. I have struggles thru 4 miscarriages and cannot have children, so when I see these posts I feel like they are mocking pregnancy... It is so hurtful and mean to "pretend" to be pregnant for a fb status. I almost said congrats on the first post I saw because I hadn't heard about all this yet. I definitely would not post it because it would only hurt me more.
Kristin
As someone who cannot have children (anymore), I don't find it amusing to make a joke of being pregnant. I wish I could have a child, but cannot. I'm quite certain that no one who is struggling with (or struggling with the reality that they cannot have children) fertility would treat such a matter so lightly. For those who have no compunction about doing so, I presume they do so because fertility is second nature to them. Good for them. But I sure wish they wouldn't make light of something that is such a sore point for so many others.
Becky Willis
I have shared this on my wall. I never participated in this-as i didn't get the correlation of it all. Thank you for writing this post.
Angela Kinder
I still don't get what it has to do with breast cancer. I find it VERY insulting. For people who can't have kids, its a slap in the face And it doesn't bring breast cancer awareness. It has NOTHING to do with breast cancer! Someone didn't think it through before they started this little "game".
Kimberly Wright
I agree, there are much better ways to raise awareness. @Emilie, I'm sorry to hear what your going through when you see these post, I understand , it's very painful.
franticfoodie
I am so glad you posted this, I had no idea people were doing this. How sad..
Ashley M
While I agree with you - I don't think these people ever mean to cause harm. I think they really do think they're helping.
Emily
This is particularly offensive because it can hurt those who struggle with infertility, but I hate all of the "games" that get passed around facebook to fool people, and that claim they are for awareness of something. I remember a popular one was For breast cancer awareness, update your status to where you leave your purse when you come home from work like "On the top of the dryer" because people will make sexual jokes - but that has NOTHING to do with breast cancer awareness - its just a way to make you feel like you've done something good for the cause when you haven't.
CinnyBBS
I have to agree, they're trying to help but are causing confusion instead. Why not just raise awareness straight up?
Danielle
I received a message about this (different status update though) and just ignored. Much easier to ignore and try and do good on my own.
Kerrie @ Family Food and Travel
These games annoy me on a good day, but anything that "pretends" to help out someone with Cancer when it actually doesn't is not only useless but insulting. Glad you are raising awareness of it.
henry
yes, that is a distraction from the real issue.
Cristi Comes
Amen. that is all.